ayearlivedintheheart

June 22nd

As with a lot of worthwhile thoughts, it came to me in the night that I need to start wearing 'God Goggles' as to the 'Beer Goggles'.  With God goggles on I would look at the good in everyone, I would see beauty, I would behave more out of love. Certainly worth a try!

June 25th

A new thought came to me today - I have no idea what beauty the person in front of me may be responsible for, either personally or through future generations. This helps in having a more receptive attitude.

June 27th

Following the slimming world diet it highlighted to me how difficult it is to withdraw the attention to the body.  It is like stepping into a new world where the body is there to serve rather than to feed personal pleasures.

June 28th

Very hard today as lack of energy and a general malaise meant it was a real struggle to keep to diet, especially the alcohol  as I know this it temporarily changes my mood -got through it though by observing and knowing that tomorrow will be a new day.

June 30th

Interesting power battle today with the effort to stay in the discipline of the diet - a real clash of desires, one  for personality fulfilment (drink, eat what I want, be loud) and the other to control these urges and be more productive and healthy.

July 2nd

The book I am currently reading is a bit off the mark from my usual material, or so it would seem at first glance.  However, Entngled Life is turning out to be just as much as a head spinner as Steiner.  Talking of mycelium (mushrooms) it becomes clear perhaps we are not as clever as we think we are, as their evolution cannot be explained, even by the greatest minds.  There really is so much more going on then we give credit for.

July 5th

Santiago book arrived today (a pilgrimage walk intended to do with brother) I find it is a great help to have a goal to work towards.

July 8th

Have found my memory appears to be very bad at the moment, quite worrying as Dementia seems to be rife at the moment.  Where would leave me on a spiritual quest or even does it make sense of a spiritual quest?

July 10th

Again concerned about my memory and general lack of direction.  However I remembered a saying 'I am not this mind it is an instrument for my use' (or not if I completely lose my marbles!).

July 14th

Desire to complete the journal has all but disappeared now.  Will carry on but it does rely on my mood which is rarely directed towards it. I have adapted thou, writing notes on my phone as they come up and then using them as journal entries.

July 17th

The thought came to me that the whole problem  is identifying myself as the body and therefore presuming I can do exactly as I please with it. Yet philosophy is saying that the body belongs to the one universal spirit and that it should only ever be used to maximise the good of the whole. I can appreciate this as a concept but it sets up an immediate resisitantce which, frankly, I could see culminating in some kind of mental disturbance. I see the antidote to this as being to lighten up and not take myself too seriously, after all, I don't even exist!